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	<title>Doc Hopper Speaks</title>
	<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com</link>
	<description>Humorous response to world issues</description>
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		<title>America&#8217;s Sweetheart Abandons Dream in Iowa</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Standing resolutely before supporters in a teal pant suit with lavender pumps, Marcus Bachmann wept openly today as he announced that because his wife, Michele, had garnered only 5% of the vote in the Iowa caucus, he would not be taking his place by her side as First Lady on Inauguration Day. “I don&#8217;t know [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com/2012/01/04/americas-sweetheart-abandons-dream-in-iowa/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Dear Leader Died During Trombone Symphony, Says North Korea</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Listening sites around the world have been monitoring radio traffic inside the borders of secretive North Korea since the announcement on Monday that Kim Jung il, that country&#8217;s most beloved despot had died on Saturday. At first there was little additional information, not even an official statement as to Kim&#8217;s actual age, estimated in the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com/2011/12/21/dear-leader-died-during-trombone-symphony-says-north-korea/</link>
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		<title>Frankly, Only the Executive Branch Needed, says Gingrich</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Pulling ahead of the pack in the Right Wing race to be the most outrageous GOP candidate in history, Newt Gingrich distinguished himself at Thursday&#8217;s debate when he told moderator Howard Stern that as president he would simply ignore the other two branches of government. “There&#8217;s no point in having federal courts that disagree with [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com/2011/12/18/frankly-only-the-executive-branch-needed-says-gingrich/</link>
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		<title>Big Oil to America: Frack Off!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[“Here we go again”, said Speaker of the House John Boehner, taking a moment from his his weekly summation of Republican filibusters to ridicule environmental regulations. “The patriotic petroleum industry finds a new way to tap fossil energy and keep America firmly in the 19th century, and here comes the EPA to screw things up.” [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com/2011/12/10/big-oil-to-america-frack-off/</link>
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		<title>Penn State Forced to Change Name to Penn-a-trate U</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In a move to head off further public outrage and ridicule, it was reported that Penn State has agreed as part of a settlement to change its name to Penn-a-Trate U before next year&#8217;s season begins. However, this move has done nothing so far to stem the loss of sponsors who have been pulling out [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com/2011/11/20/penn-state-forced-to-change-name-to-penn-a-trate-u/</link>
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		<title>GOP Hopefuls&#8217; Bitefest 2012</title>
		<description><![CDATA[“Gonna melt it down to add 999 miles to the border fence,” was the answer given by GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain, when asked about his Statue of Liberty plan at the most recent Republican debate, or as anti-tax activist Grover Norquist calls it, “the Freak Show.” Mr. Cain expanded on his statue rhetoric when [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com/2011/10/28/gop-hopefuls-bitefest-2012/</link>
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		<title>Bank of America Dreams Up New Fees</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Bank of America has announced a host of new charges for debit and credit card customers that will go into effect November 1, 2011.  Phone Activation Fee: when you get your new card in the mail, there is $5 phone fee for activation by calling the 800 number on the card, which can be avoided [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com/2011/10/05/bank-of-america-dreams-up-new-fees/</link>
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		<title>Lion King-BW</title>
		<description><![CDATA[  Coming on the heels of its success with a re-release of Lion King in 3D, Disney announced today another re-release of its iconic money maker: Lion King: Black and White. “We&#8217;ve discovered a new way to separate movie goers from their money”, said Franklin Jessup, Disney Vice President in charge of separating movie goers [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com/2011/09/19/lion-king-bw/</link>
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		<title>Charlie Sheen Proposes &#8220;Winner&#8221; Middle East Solution</title>
		<description><![CDATA[“It&#8217;s so simple, I don&#8217;t know why no one has thought of this before. Maybe because they don&#8217;t have my head for politics (see picture of my head). The Jews and the Arabs have been going at it for like months now, right? The Arabs&#8230; or the Palestinians&#8230; whatever&#8230; they want the same territory the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com/2011/09/18/charlie-sheen-proposes-winner-middle-east-solution/</link>
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		<title>Family Reunion with Dead Gramps this Thanksgiving</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Death need not be a somber occasion these days. Funerals don&#8217;t have to be filled with sobbing and rubbing elbows with relatives you never knew you had. With today&#8217;s microcircuits, Wi-Fi and animatronics, dead grandpa can now be as close as your big screen TV any time you want him to visit! Welcome to the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.dochopperspeaks.com/2011/09/11/family-reunion-with-dead-gramps-this-thanksgiving/</link>
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