Blackwater Sheds Village People Image

Erika Prince, the transgender brother of Trump Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, has vowed to toughen up the image of his mercenary army, Blackwater.

“You’d think with all these ex-seals and paratroopers and what all, I’d be able to round up a half dozen of my men who aren’t butt-munchers, right? It’s embarrassing!”

Having whiffed the odor of a no bid contract for mercenary fighting in Afghanistan, little Erika, stamped her foot in frustration.

“Remember when my black-clad private troops stormed into New Orleans after Katrina? That was supposed to make the world sit up and take notice of my macho machine. Instead, within 24 hours, two of my toughest tigers are arrested in the French Quarter, giving blow jobs to runners up from Miss Tiny’s Faggoty Fine Parade. Blackwater became a joke! We were known as the Village People of the mercenary crowd.”

Erika paused to viciously fan himself.

“After my gender reassignment surgery, I personally whipped those boys into shape. No more cross dressing! No more satin underwear under those special forces cargo pants! Did they listen? Of course not! Now I’m back to providing private security at Delray’s Acres of Porta Potties, that contracts for outhouses at military functions.
There is still hope, however. Jared Kushner winked at me during that Russian meeting at Trump Tower with Donald Junior.”

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