“I have today signed an executive order giving the go ahead to move the Atlantic Ocean to the west coast of America. In this way, all the pollution and oil spills of the waters on the east coast, will become California’s problem.”
In the Oval Office, the president held up yet another executive order, for the assembled media to photograph and exclaim over.
“This plan creates thousands of jobs. Many jobs. Such as for the tanker truck drivers who will move the Atlantic water west across America. Scientists tell me that moving that much water will take many years. Hundreds of years. That’s a lot of jobs, folks. Lots of jobs. I told Mexico they would be paying for all this, but the Spanish guy in charge down there, said they’re still searching the couch cushions for the money to pay for my Mexican Wall.”
“I’ve put that lucky bastard who’s sleeping with Ivanka, Jarhead Kardashian or whatever ….. that Jewish son-in-law …. in charge of making this happen. So there’s another job created right there.”