Kobe Brant Deflates

With the Wednesday night match up of the Lakers against the Utah Jazz, Kobe Bryant will end his sports career with a perfect record of zero rape convictions. His ability to dodge law enforcement for decades was always a big draw for fans  attracted to his bad boy image, and they were overjoyed to discover, in 2003, that their hero also dabbled in basketball.
Things got dodgy thirteen years ago in Edwards, Colorado, when Bryant had checked into a local hospital for knee surgery. He was later charged with a sexual assault allegedly taking place in his hotel room.
Kobe, a devout Catholic and married, had said that following a spirited exchange of bodily fluids with a young woman he had met in the hotel bar, he was merely offering her “erectile communion” early the next morning, assuming that she was Catholic as well.
The woman  however, identified only as Subject A, said that she was in fact, Jewish and put off by Kobe’s seizing the scoring opportunity as well as the“black mamba” he dangled in her face.  Thirteen years later, Bryant has become synonymous with that African snake, and is affectionately called the Black Mamba by fans, all over the world.
While most fans showing up to see Kobe on Wednesday are aware that he is an ardent ball handler and frequently shows up at Laker events, it’s  his well known ability to bob, weave and wiggle his way past jealous husbands, boyfriends, cops and prosecutors that has secured his enduring legacy as a crossover dribbler.

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