The Donald
Goes without saying that The Donald it is the biggest and best sandwich on the entire menu. But we’ll say it anyway. It’s terrific! You won’t be able to eat this one with small hands, but you will see how it dwarfs whatever your table companions have “down there” on their plates.
You can order extra cheese for this one and make the waitress pay for it!
The Big W
You’re the decider. Decide on this faux Western sandwich. It arrives plain but feel free to invade it with whatever makings come to mind. Sauerkraut and chocolate sauce? Go for it! Ignore the advice of those who know better; you’re going with your gut on this one.
Warning: although advertised as a bargain item, the cost will begin to escalate the moment you place your order. Better bring your checkbook AND the password to your 401 (k) account for this one!
The Jeb
It’s plain, bland, unexciting. You wouldn’t know it comes from the same display case as the Big W and there won’t be any applause for ordering this white bread wonder, but The Jeb comes “mom recommended” and you can’t get more wholesome than that.
Sarah Palin Salad
Also known as the kitchen sink, your salad consists of whatever happens to fall out of the disorganized vegetable bin when the restaurant’s refrigerator door is opened. It comes to your table inside a battery operated Tupperware salad spinner that keeps you guessing; you never know what will arrive on your fork next. It’s always a surprise, guys and gals!
The Hillary/Bill
Eight years of the same old grilled cheese on rye too much for you? Here’s your chance to change things up this election season by ordering grilled cheese on sourdough. The H/B has been knocking around in the back of the kitchen since 2008 when it was first unveiled with much hoopla as America’s next main course. Unfortunately America wasn’t ready at the time and went for the fried chicken and waffles instead.
Feel the Bern
The Bern, offered on pumpernickel with sweet relish, generates a lot of interest when the menu is first opened. You’d think everyone was going to have it …. but when the waitress shows up to take the order, the patrons have all pretty much abandoned it as undelectable.