Incredible Natural Magnet Found in My Bathroom

dirty-litter-boxThe first time it happened I thought it was sheer coincidence, like when I run out of clean underwear the same day I run out of laundry detergent. On this particular morning I was behind schedule and in my haste I accidentally dropped my hairbrush. After bouncing off the edge of the sink and careening off the wall  it landed (bristles down) in the cat’s litter box. (Note: another coincidence– I run out of cat litter the same day the box needs changing). The next morning, my hands slippery with soap, I leaned out of the shower and grabbed the bottle of shampoo I had neglected to bring in with me. It slipped from my grasp, bounced off a lower shelf and ….. landed in the middle of the litter box. In the days that followed I was witness to an amazing phenomenon. Anything that got away from me — electric razor, comb, bottle of Listerine — everything was drawn to the litter box. At first I thought this might be akin to the Murphy’s Law axiom that requires dropped toast to land buttered side down, or the Mechanics’ Corollary that sees a dropped tool roll to the exact center under the vehicle being worked on, but this was something different. With a little experimentation I was able to determine that an object need not even be in my hand  to succumb to the mysterious forces at work here. I could set anything on a shelf’s edge — hand mirror, toothpaste tube, extra roll of toilet paper and as soon as my back was turned the object would be drawn into the dark vortex of the litter box, much to the disgust of my cat who has never fully accepted my sharing her bathroom and is generally annoyed  by my mere presence there. I attempted to solve the riddle of this paradox through the magic of Google, but only wound up staring at ads for a dizzying array of penis enlargement devices. (I really must study search engine parameters one of these days) Through an acquaintance I was able to get the e-mail address of Dr. Hubert Mendelson of the Massachusettes Institute of Technology. I immediately dashed off a detailed description of the anomaly, with a plea for his assistance and hinted that he might want to share my insights with his friend Stephen Hawking,  in the event that primal subatomic forces are at work in my bathroom. So far Dr. Mendleson has failed to respond and I can only conclude that my friend must have given me the wrong address. My situation grows increasingly dire: yesterday the litter box claimed my toothbrush and I am certainly not going to run out and buy a new one each time this happens. And I know you wouldn’t either.

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