Current Events
Dear Leader Died During Trombone Symphony, Says North Korea
Listening sites around the world have been monitoring radio traffic inside the borders of secretive North Korea since the announcement on Monday that Kim Jung il, that country’s most beloved despot had died on Saturday. At first there was little additional information, not even an official statement as to Kim’s actual age, estimated in the west to be between 65 and 70. All that changed...
[Read more...]Current Events 2
Frankly, Only the Executive Branch Needed, says Gingrich
Pulling ahead of the pack in the Right Wing race to be the most outrageous GOP candidate in history, Newt Gingrich distinguished himself at Thursday’s debate when he told moderator Howard Stern that as president he would simply ignore the other two branches of government. “There’s no point in having federal courts that disagree with the chief executive,” he said. “George W. Bush... [Read more...]
Current Events 3
Penn State Forced to Change Name to Penn-a-trate U
In a move to head off further public outrage and ridicule, it was reported that Penn State has agreed as part of a settlement to change its name to Penn-a-Trate U before next year’s season begins. However, this move has done nothing so far to stem the loss of sponsors who have been pulling out in greater numbers as new revelations have come to light. For instance, Penn State’s trustees... [Read more...]
Current Events 4
Bank of America Dreams Up New Fees
Bank of America has announced a host of new charges for debit and credit card customers that will go into effect November 1, 2011. Phone Activation Fee: when you get your new card in the mail, there is $5 phone fee for activation by calling the 800 number on the card, which can be avoided by using our website: www.BoAgotcha.com Online Activation Fee: if you go to our website rather than calling... [Read more...]
Current Events 5
Charlie Sheen Proposes “Winner” Middle East Solution
“It’s so simple, I don’t know why no one has thought of this before. Maybe because they don’t have my head for politics (see picture of my head). The Jews and the Arabs have been going at it for like months now, right? The Arabs… or the Palestinians… whatever… they want the same territory the Jews… or Israelis…. whatever…want, right? I keep hearing... [Read more...]
Movie Reviews
12.7 Hours: When Nature Calls
For a supenseful, gut wrenching, teeth clenching movie experience it’s hard to top 12.7 hours, currently being considered for an Oscar nomination. It’s a story of determination, faith and courage and while everyone knows the outcome before even buying a ticket, at... [Read more...]
Religion
Pope Consents to Fox News Interview
In an unprecedented move by the Vatican amid the burgeoning priest sex scandals, Pope Benedict agreed to be interviewed on Fox News following his Easter Mass spiel on Sunday. Sitting down with commentator Juan Williams, Pope Benedict indicated that he was ready to be lobbed... [Read more...]
Political Commentary
America’s Sweetheart Abandons Dream in Iowa
Standing resolutely before supporters in a teal pant suit with lavender pumps, Marcus Bachmann wept openly today as he announced that because his wife, Michele, had garnered only 5% of the vote in the Iowa caucus, he would not be taking his place by her side as First Lady on... [Read more...]
Entertainment
Lion King-BW
Coming on the heels of its success with a re-release of Lion King in 3D, Disney announced today another re-release of its iconic money maker: Lion King: Black and White. “We’ve discovered a new way to separate movie goers from their money”, said Franklin Jessup,... [Read more...]